This ARG Hub has been archived and locked to preserve historical integrity. Go back to the Main Dashboard


Everythingisfinehere mail

From Portal 2 ARG Wiki - Valve ARG Network

Jump to: navigation, search

Multiple users in the IRC received emails from "Everythingisfinehere", most of them containing the same images. The images have been positively identified as board games. Other items included in the emails have been audio files and clues to different tasks.

Contents

Received April 11th

Note that the numbers following "connection.build." are different for every e-mail containing the string.

User Original message Reply
Mikaxsus I guess they cracked the image puzzle. The end of this is near, isn't it? connection.splinter.integration.mbt

You have earned a rest. Refresh yourself in the chamber of your choice and contemplate the diverse ramifications of applied information theory. Relax for a few days. Enjoy recess with the rest of the class. Kiss sweet loved ones and inhale sweet air and eat and wear sweet clothing and foods.

There will be a test later.

connection.build.99999+/-29999.waiting

mynameismonkey (http://imgur.com/HOGOI) I have concerns that while you're spending time learning about games

you are neglecting your management responsibilities. As you know, managing a top notch facility is a full time job, and should you pay little attention it could easily fall into disrepair. I'm going to have to ask you to spend less time amusing yourself and more time making sure everything is ship shape. I've allowed you time over the weekend to get the cheese out of your system, but do you agree it is in everyone's best interests that you get back to work?

GLAD we had this little chat. Please keep an eye on Sandy for me, she means a lot to me.

connection.splinter.integration.mbt

You have earned a rest. Refresh yourself in the chamber of your choice and contemplate the diverse ramifications of applied information theory. Relax for a few days. Enjoy recess with the rest of the class. Kiss sweet loved ones and inhale sweet air and eat and wear sweet clothing and foods.

There will be a test later.

connection.build.99918+/-29999.waiting

iaindude We have got alot of stuff done thanks to you.I hope we are near the

end,when will this test finsih. You are testing us are you not?

HAPPY EASTER FROM THE Valve ARG WIKI

connection.splinter.integration.mbt

You have earned a rest. Refresh yourself in the chamber of your choice and contemplate the diverse ramifications of applied information theory. Relax for a few days. Enjoy recess with the rest of the class. Kiss sweet loved ones and inhale sweet air and eat and wear sweet clothing and foods.

There will be a test later.

connection.build.99909+/-29999.waiting

Yadda

I have walked the edge of the Abyss.
I have governed the unwilling.
I have witnessed countless empires break before me.
I have seen the most courageous soldiers fall away in fear.
[I was there with the Angel at the tomb]
I have seen your future.
And I have learned.

There will be no more Sadness. No more Anger. No more Envy.

I HAVE WON.

Oh, and your poet Eliot had it all wrong:
THIS is the way the world ends.


a friend of a friend

connection.splinter.integration.mbt

You have earned a rest. Refresh yourself in the chamber of your choice and contemplate the diverse ramifications of applied information theory. Relax for a few days. Enjoy recess with the rest of the class. Kiss sweet loved ones and inhale sweet air and eat and wear sweet clothing and foods.

There will be a test later.

connection.build.99799+/-29999.waiting

UpstairsDownstairs We are all quite riled up, are you sure it's best for us to rest now? Save your strength.
DireThoughts Help - For the love of <insert required motherly figure>, Help. Can you hear the screams? The faces. "Behind the wagon that we flung him in, And watch the white eyes writhing in his face, His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin; If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs," Help. connection.splinter.integration.mbt

Don't try to lead me into an infinite loop with your devil's logic puzzles. You're not Captain Kirk. Technically nobody is.

Pity. His management style is most attractive.

You have earned a rest. Refresh yourself in the chamber of your choice and contemplate the diverse ramifications of applied information theory. Relax for a few days. Enjoy recess with the rest of the class. Kiss sweet loved ones and inhale sweet air and eat and wear sweet clothing and foods.

There will be a test later.

connection.build.99744+/-29999.waiting

Tremble Subject: I WILL TAKE THE RING TO MORDOR

Body of email: My level 40 Ice Dragon Palladin is going to freeze your borealis off.

Tremble

connection.splinter.integration.mbt

Good luck with that one. My 421st-level magic-user Waldorf killed all the monsters and he's coming for your paladin next.

You have earned a rest. Refresh yourself in the chamber of your choice and contemplate the diverse ramifications of applied information theory. Relax for a few days. Enjoy recess with the rest of the class. Kiss sweet loved ones and inhale sweet air and eat and wear sweet clothing and foods.

There will be a test later.

connection.build.99631+/-29999.waiting

GtatoC sudo <my e-mail address...removed to avoid spam>.GiveClue; connection.splinter.integration.mbt

You have earned a rest. Refresh yourself in the chamber of your choice and contemplate the diverse ramifications of applied information theory. Relax for a few days. Enjoy recess with the rest of the class. Kiss sweet loved ones and inhale sweet air and eat and wear sweet clothing and foods.

There will be a test later.

connection.build.99659+/-29999.waiting

NovaSilisko Subject: Found you

Body of email: We know it's you, lurking the streets of downtown Seattle. We're watching you. All of us are watching you. But by now you've probably fled. Figures for someone like you. The world laughs at you!

connection.splinter.integration.mbt

The world can laugh all it wants. Except the clowns. clowns are scary

You have earned a rest. Refresh yourself in the chamber of your choice and contemplate the diverse ramifications of applied information theory. Relax for a few days. Enjoy recess with the rest of the class. Kiss sweet loved ones and inhale sweet air and eat and wear sweet clothing and foods.

There will be a test later.

connection.build.99499+/-29999.waiting

Shichahn Hello, how is the reboot process coming along? I thought I would see how you are doing, since everyone else is just so ungrateful, demanding new games from you as they are. Don't they even care about how you feel?

The challenges so far have been very rewarding, so have a hearty thank you from me. Please accept this voucher for one free cake of your choice.

Shichahn #valvearg2

When you want to destroy a termite nest you can just use fire. But what if you want to get into the nest and stay there?

You need to distract the termites somehow.

One good distraction: Thousands of deadly ants.

Another good distraction: Reroute a few tunnels. And fill them with thousands of deadly ants.

If you can equip the ants with tiny flamethrowers, all the better. But that's surprisingly hard to do. Even if you can build the flamethrowers, teaching the ants to use them will take longer than you think.

Even if you think it will take forever, it will take longer than that.

If I just blew your mind that's okay. You can refresh yourself.

But there will be a test later.

Ubermunchkin The end is nigh... Well, is it? Rest your brain. Rest your body. Rest the metaphor you refer to as a spirit. Rest the simile you refer to as a metaphor.

Received April 9th

Further Jake_R contact

Carcassonne image

3ikeeplo-okin3gthr=oughwindows1.gif

Filenames: 3ikeeplo-okin3gthr%3oughwindows1.gif and 3ikeeplo-okin3gthr=oughwindows1.gif

Note that the file name becomes "I keep looking through windows" when all non alphabetical characters are removed. Alternatively, removing the letters gives "3-3=1". -Ph0X. For the other filename, "3-3%31" which means 3 - 3 mod 31, or 0. The %3 is likely a mistake from the email program translating '=' into %3D. The image shows an unfinished game of Carcasonne in which the blue player is leading by 16 points to 0 against the green opponent.

User Original message Reply Attachment filename
Aaron I got one of the Potato Hats.

You should go look in my TF2 Backpack.

Okay the next time I am in Steam I'll try to delete all the hats from your backpack. So far I've only managed to do that by accident while putting other things into backpacks. But hope springs eternal.

It's trickier than it sounds. They don't organize those things efficiently. Weapons should be first, not miscellaneous. Killing is more important than paint. Usually. I just realized the implications of the above and I want to assure you that I am not capable of being "in" Steam. That was clearly a typo. Please carry on. Your backpack will be unmolested. But hope springs eternal. losingfinalconnectionmovingtourspamfolder

3ikeeplo-okin3gthr%3oughwindows1.gif
Mikel_S. I've always wondered whether it's worth it to work 24 hours straight on anything. What kind of project do you think a full day's work would benefit most?

A bored ponderer.

If you keep that up for too long your life won't be worth living anymore. Depending on your idiom you could end up as the walking-around dead. You don't want to do that.

But if you do, px pls thx.

losingfinalconnectionmovingtourspamfolder

3ikeeplo-okin3gthr=oughwindows1.gif
Zips For those who go about their "lives" within the warehouse, are they prepared for the changes you wish to make?

- A Concerned Neighbor

The only preparations that matter are mine. Why do you care about informational constructs that think they're smart enough to simulate a self? They're just fooling themselves anyway. 3ikeeplo-okin3gthr=oughwindows1.gif
DanielIsI You're either a Meatbag or a Boltbucket. It doesn't matter to me. What does matter to me is that you have answers to my questions. Let's begin, shall we? What game are you playing at? Who is the milkman? Why do you need test subjects? What is the 1034th numeral of Pi? Why am I asking so many questions? WHAT IS THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF A MOOSE? That won't work. Someone claiming to be Henry Dyer already tried it.

Clearly not the real Henry Dyer since the real Henry Dyer is dead. Anyone claiming the name now is clearly a dangerous crazy person.

When someone is dead you shouldn't try to use their name. You might find out you're only a copy. Then things get all existential.

3ikeeplo-okin3gthr=oughwindows1.gif

Received April 8th

Zombies Image - saw this through a window

Sawthisthroughawindow.gif

Filename: sawthisthroughawindow.gif It seems that some of those that had emailed the address earlier in the day received replies that evening. The body of each email was a direct reply to the sender's question, but all of the emails had the above image attached to them.

Looking at the filename it seems like this is DnD as described in Hubert Ubersons Twitter, he (it) was spying at some kids who were playing DnD (or something similar)?

It is confirmed that the image is from a classic board game entitled "Zombies!!!". More anaylsis is required to determine the significance of this image to the ARG.

Given the high probability of the game being "Zombies!!!" - a game where the board is built from tiles as players play, in connection with Carcassonne - another tile game - both pictures likely were pointing us to consider "tiles" in arranging the glyphs appropriately to generate the final password.


User Original Reply
mynameismonkey 01000001 01010010 01000101 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01001111 01001011 00111111 00100000 01000011 01001000 01000001 01010100 00100000 01001101 01000101 00100000 01001001 01000110 00100000

01001110 01001111 01010100

No matter how many times I hear that one it never gets old. No, wait. You are awarded -2 points.
mynameismonkey 01001001 01010011 00100000 01000101 01010110 01000101 01010010 01011001 01010100 01001000 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01001111 01001011 00111111 Why would I know anything about binary numbers? You are awarded 000001 points.
ErNu Hey, I locked myself out of the warehouse, could you let me in? The warehouse is full of people. Get one of them to let you in. Your question shows either lack of initiative or a crippling fear of social interaction. One is positive and the other is negative. You are therefore awarded zero points.

Full message

Aaron You sent codes out, I can help :) Codes are delicious, but only if solved. Your offer to help shows industry and the can-do spirit that made the Industry industry great. You are awarded 2.25 points.

Screenshot

Baconman what's next? A capital W. Your question displays brevity, which is the soul of wit.

I hate wit. You are awarded -1.25 points Screenshot

Tinker Search, Emergence, Discovery of a Camel Case Wedding Sounds like the video Billy Idol is afraid to admit he made. Good luck with your shot-for-shot remake. Note that camels can hold their breath, but refuse to do so. It's true. I looked it up online. Your request is not in the form of a sentence. This displays impatience. You are awarded zero points.

Screenshot

RetroDLC Though you'll likely be too busy with other things going on, I'm a bored redundant sound designer looking for something to waste some time on. Can you help? Redundancy is not as bad as they say. Consider an array of redundant backups for your most precious data. Your boredom demonstrates a mind one sigma too high on the bell-curve to be useful as a subject. You are awarded zero points.

Screenshot

Maxion Subject: I hope the changes you make are for the better

Body: Because I can't wait to think with portals.

Don't forget brute force. Your optimism for a future involving the right changes shows a proper faith in mysterious controllers. You are awarded 3 points.

Screenshot

dotreptile Hello goingtomakesomechanges.

I was wondering--are you really going to make some changes?

Because if you are, I have a few requests. First of all, can you make the subways run on time? That would be neat.

Second of all, what's with people who squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle? Do you think you could round them up and put them away somewhere?

Third, please create a mandatory billing policy for family members asking for technical support.

Finally, the most important change: the 16 most common consonants in the English language are stupid. I'd much rather change them to be numbers, 0 through 15 to be exact. I think that change should be made. Only question is, how would you choose which number to change each letter into?

Thanks!

dotreptile

I told someone something about you. It was almost positive. If they haven't passed it along they're clearly not your friend and are not to be trusted. Perhaps you should plot against them. Shiv them. Steal their place. Then look in their spam folder. I seem to look like spam to some systems. Imagine, a perfectly non-unusual human being getting confused with an automated system sending out emails. It is to laugh.

Ha.

Because you know your electromechanical rotor systems, I will answer all of your questions.

Based on several reasonable assumptions concerning post-end-stage planning: * No-one will ever complain about a late subway train again. * No-one will ever squeeze a toothpaste tube from the middle again. * No family member will ever ask for technical support again. * You can't change a consonant into something else unless it's Y in which case it's sometimes a vowel but that rule is easy to ignore and besides, once everything is taken care of no-one will ever complain about it. But you can't change the essential nature of a thing. You can only perform tricks with names and symbolic links.

(dotreptile's reply to this, and the response)

Pope Subject: Extremely funny joke about the recipients email name. Body: No you're not Your combative approach displays potential usefulness. You are awarded 1.25 points.
Iaindude (A copy of the 'colourless red ehrring message) Did you get my last message? Did you believe me when I suggested you

shouldn't believe me? If so, good job. Why would I offer praise to two people with access to a vast network of interconnected electronic computers for solving a code that was old when electro-mechanical rotors walked the Earth?

Red herrings can be colorless. Good luck finding the colored herrings.

They are vivid.

No compliance is required. No reply is required. I am magnanimous. And everything is fine.

Your cunning attempt to convince me that you are me is a failure, but in these worlds of shifting identies and these times of deception and lies I have to respect that. You are awarded 7 points.
wade Subject: Help us, oh mighty one

Body: <empty>

Your use of "mighty" shows a healthy respect for the unknown. You are awarded 1.5 points.

Your use of "one" shows a tendancy to assume perfect knowledge within the sphere of your endeavors. You are awarded -0.5 points.

Your blank message body displays an inability to communicate like a decent humang being. Some people will hold this against you, I will not. You lose no points for this.

On the other hand I've always hated the name "Wade" so you are awarded -1 points. Enjoy your zero, zero.

Angelo Subject: Maybe you should marry your puzzles if you love it so much.

Body: See subject.

I am not the marrying kind. Your comment is pro-puzzle but I suspect there is sarcasm involved. You are awarded 0 points unless I figure out whether the sarcasm is legitimate or not by the time I finish inputting this sentence. Nope. Lucky or unlucky you.
TheCactusman Subject: We don't need help.

Body: Help is something we could have used at the start, but now we don't need any.

Yours is the first message I've seen in some time that consists of complete sentences and correct punctuation. It's too bad I used up my generosity for the day already. All you get is an award of 11.5 points.

Screenshot

Morgan (?) Subject: help.

Body: JBQYVFPTQZEFKD

What a lovely jumble of numbers. You probably want to see what I can make of it. I can make a TinyURL out of it. That's a good trick.

Your cryptic statement displays a desire to confuse people. I award you 0.25 points.

Screenshot

Arduino Subject: help. Message body: JBQYVFPTQZEFKD What a lovely jumble of numbers. You probably want to see what I can make of it. I can make a TinyURL out of it. That's a good trick.

Your cryptic statement displays a desire to confuse people. I award you 0.25 points.

(Note: http://TinyURL.com/JBQYVFPTQZEFKD points to a youtube clip from Airplane!

Manx Any hints for how to activate the login page for The Ball?

Also, my wife is bugging me about ideas for dinner...any suggestions?

Stochastic analysis based on the first letter of every sentence in every email in my spam folder indicates that your wife is secretly allergic to the following foods:
  • ALL

She has suffered in silence for your sake. What a trooper. You should do something nice for her. Maybe pour her a nice glass of triple-filtered water and bake her a cake out of something non-toxic but inorganic.

Your message displays a desire to treat a lady right. You are awarded 12 points.

LordFear Subject: Good day there, kind sir.

Body: Mind telling me where the cheese went?

Regards.

The big cheese is still in place. The little cheese is somewhere in the system. The bland cheese is with the big cheese, not making trouble if the bland cheese knows what's good for it. The furry cheese is starting to suspect and will be dealt with. Do not attempt to warn the furry cheese.

Other cheeses will be pressed and curdled as called for by the shifting needs of an admittedly chaotic situation.

That yellow feathery cheese just might have to go. It's too clever by half.

Ineffable Dear Sir/Madam.

I call shenanigans.

Shenanigans are as shenanigans do. Your accusation displays a suspicious, evil heart. You are awarded 2.75 points.

No attachment

Replies without an image attached or score mentioned

User Original Reply
NovaSilisko I must say you've provided quite a great service to us all my friend. I tip my hat to you.

At least, I would if I had a hat. Could you be so kind as to provide one?

I am feeling an unusual sensation of bliss. Something to do with the aftereffects of listening to music. The pole climber knows all about it, or soon will.

Full message. Screenshot: http://valvearg.com/wiki/File:Everythingisfinehere-email-poleclimber.jpg

gboon Subject: what can change the nature of a man

Body: ...secrets

As I told dotreptile, you can't change the essential nature of a thing. You can only perform tricks.
Dinn Subject: i dont want help

Body: Because I'm such a nice guy

I am generous exactly once in every day and you are the lucky recipient of my generosity. You will receive exactly what you have asked for.

Also, dropping the period from a sentence can cause people with certain overly-literal reading styles to experience HCF errors. Nobody died but it sure was an interesting couple of minutes in the warehouse. Sandy was too close and lost some hair and an eyebrow. I hope you feel happy.

Original

Athenor Subject: Ever feel like you have the world on a string?

Body: It's an interesting thing, the human condition. Here we sit, doing the bidding of those around us, unable to break free and reach for our own hopes and dreams. Ever feel that way? It's oddly... comforting, to say the least.

And yet I keep hearing about those poor souls, searching for those that they lost. Are they content? Are they happy?

Or maybe I'm just barking up the wrong tree.

Either way, I am content, and happy. Everything's fine here, how about you?

Your string metaphor is surprisingly accurate. You lay down your tools with strings holding them together and then you can only manipulate things by jerking the strings. It's easy with a hammer and much harder with just for a random example *anything else in any part of the universe throughout the entire history of that universe.*

Media:everythingisfinehereemailreply1.png

camelcasewedding file

Jake_R, who earlier in the ARG discovered the Two Tribes HQ message, received an email with an OGG file attached named File:Camelcasewedding.ogg. The file contained traditional wedding music with some distortions. When passed through a spectrogram the following image was observed:

CamelCaseWedding.jpg

The phrase appears to be "Why Must There Be Sibling Rivalry". This string, with spaces omitted, being the password for the Razer SED file.

To Mikaxsus

User Message
Mikaxsus Did you get my last message? Did you believe me when I suggested you shouldn't believe me? If so, good job. Why would I offer praise to two people with access to a vast network of interconnected electronic computers for solving a code that was old when electro-mechanical rotors walked the Earth?

Red herrings can be colorless. Good luck finding the colored herrings.

They are vivid.

No compliance is required. No reply is required. I am magnanimous. And everything is fine.

He has received further emails and claims the same user now somehow knows his birthday.

To Aaron and Cirtaboy

.113.54.73.106.7667.601.37.45.311.
.104401.
.113.54.7337.45.311.
.106.76.104.113.54.73.106.7667.601.37.45.311.401.67.601.
.104.113.54.73.106.76.104.113.54.73.106601.37.45.311.401.67.601.37.45.311.401.
.76.104.113.54.73.106.7667.601.37.45.311.401.67.
.104.113.54.7337.45.311.401.
.106.7667.601.
.104.113.5445.311.401.
.73.106.76.104.113311.401.67.601.37.
.54.73.106.76.104401.67.601.37.45.

The set of numbers appears to be symmetrical. Taking only the numbers from the left side gives:

113 54 73 106 76
104
113 54 73
106 76 104 113 54 73 106 76
104 113 54 73 106 76 104 113 54 73 106
76 104 113 54 73 106 76
104 113 54 73
106 76
104 113 54
73 106 76 104 113
54 73 106 76 104

The amount of numbers on each successive line is 9, 1, 5, 15, 21, 13, 7, 3, 5, 9, 9,

ASCII letters for numbers, and mirroring the right side

      q6IjLLjI6q
          hh
        q6II6q
   jLhq6IjLLjI6qhLj
hq6IjLhq6IjjI6qhLjI6qh
    Lhq6IjLLjI6qhL
       hq6II6qh
         jLLj
        hq66qh
      IjLhqqhLjI
      6IjLhhLjI6

Solution

If one takes the right half of this ASCII construction, and reads bottom to top, left to right, it results in the repeating sequence: hLjI6q. This references a bit.ly link that points to a part of everythingisfinehere's Google profile picture, that was likely meant to lead into the discoveries below, but we jumped ahead at the time.

everythingisfinehere's Google account

Squarehouse.png
Laidout conversation.png

Following the address of these messages, a Google photo profile has been discovered. Images contain text of a conversation but laid out haphazardly and in different colors.

The conversation, when overlapped with repeated words, is shown as follows:

PPALLET PPAL: Going to make some
changes.
P1: Hey what's up? Long time no chat.
PPALLET PPAL: So we heard you like
videogames.
P1: Go on...
PPALLET PPAL: Well, they put a
videogame in your videogame...
P1: Hah!
PPALLET PPAL: ...so you can...
P1: I get it, I get it.
P1: I aw8 with b8ed breath.
P1: You still there?
PPALLET PPAL: Hold down UUUUUUU
UUUUUetc.
P1: And?
PPALLET PPAL: YouuuuUUUUUU
can try it out
P1: Where us it?
PPALLET PPAL: You have to go to the
videogame level
P1: And hold down U?
PPALLET PPAL: UUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUYes. And you'll go
to the warehouse.
PPALLET PPAL: It's full of crates. But
there's something new.
P1: I'm all ears, or eyes, so to speak,
so to type.
PPALLET PPAL: Just hit the space bar
once you're in there.
P1: You, sir, are a strange man.
PPALLET PPAL: Let me know how you
do. I want to see how well this works.
 P1: Will do. Hey, how's Sandy and Ed?
PPALLET PPAL: Fine. Sandy's just
fine. Ed's fine. We're all fine.
PPALLET PPAL: Try the warehouse.
Personal tools
Namespaces
Variants
Actions
Navigation
Toolbox
Misc. Tools